If you were to ask me what the difference was between human beings and animals, I would have have said (at various times): But for all of the above, you can find examples in other animals:

So what is the difference if there is one? I think the difference is that human beings know about and consider their own death. Because of our intelligence, we can predict our own death. While other animals all seek to survive, do they consider why? Humans do.

A Final Frontier?

Rob McGough (a friend of long standing) once suggested to me that human beings are all like dumb terminals hooked up to the mainframe of God. The individual parts exist to feed data to the collective that belongs to none. So what happens when we die?

Death is an issue because as humans we have a personality, an ego which we identify as "I"; or "me". It seems unacceptable to that ego that it should at some point cease to exist. But does the "I" really exist at all?

It's been suggested that what we take for our identity is only the most prevalent mental state in our brains at any time. Certain patterns are reinforced by the nature of how memory is stored, but is not permanent. The only thing then, that connects you with who you used to be, is your memory. To use a computer metaphor again, your memory is like a hard disk, and the "I" is just the program currently loaded in RAM. This could change at any moment, and you wouldn't know it, because the "you" would change too!

Still the question lingers -- "is there life after death?"

 

The Tree of Life

In my religious studies I came across a concept in the Qabalah, or Tree of Life. This is that there are three parts to a person: Personality, Soul, and Spirit. The personality is linked with a person's body and perishes when the body does. It does not survive death. The soul however continues from one life to the next, linking up to different personalities as they are created. The spirit in turn links soul to soul, and never changes. In that way we are all linked and eternal, and still finite at the same time.

I find this concept appealing and "emotionally right" for me. It satisfies my survival instinct whether true or not. But a belief in reincarnation is no excuse for wasting a life. Life is either essentially random, in which case I need to make the best of things; or there is a purpose and design to things, and that being so I should discover and pursue that purpose.

The bottom line for me is that regardless of whether or not I get a "second chance" at life, I should live this one the best way I can, and be the best most fulfilled person possible. And that's where I am right now -- making this happen.

If I can take one day at a time, one step after the next, and do the best I can -- then I'll not be afraid of death when it comes, because I won't have lived a wasted life.

Parting Thought

And yet, when all the shouting's done, the party finished and the food all gone ­ will you celebrate with joy, or mourn the moment's passing?
 
For we pause, all reticent, the moment lasting, the tasks all done. And then Angels bid us clear the space, shouting:
 
"Move on, move on ­ for more souls are yet to come!"
Life is a funny thing -- people worry about what they've done, why they did it, and where they're going, and how they'll get there -- rather than where they're at. The following is just a collection of thoughts on the subject that I've thrown together. They reflect the pagan nature of my spirituality.

The Soul

I couldn't resist adapting the buddhist model to a pagan basis. The following was the result, and is based partly on Hindu and Cabalistic ideas.

[Downloadable illustration] The personality is that part of you that is linked to the body and the physical part of the world. In the ongoing cycle, both body and personality change and eventually die. The self-hate represents what is called "the shadow". This is the part of our personality that we attempt to repress, or seldom acknowledge. But resisting it is what gives it power over us. The fear is the veil, and this is what separates personality from soul.

The soul is the immortal part of one's being. It exists independently, but it has to connect with a personality in order to experience the world of existence and being.

Existence therefore is a cycle in which one's soul is reborn in different bodies in order to experience the physical world. This connection develops the personality, which is different with each body, and changes over a lifetime. When the body dies the soul migrates to another body and repeats the cycle. So while the personality is finite and mortal, the soul is infinite and immortal.

Between lives, the soul picks which life it wants to re-enter as, and what lesson it wants to learn from this. Part of the process of re-entry involves establishing a new link between the soul and the personality. This takes time and sometimes never happens. We don't remember "past lives" (i.e. the previous lives the soul has connected with) because that memory resides in the soul, not the personality. Sometimes though this information comes through, but in such cases it doesn't mean that you were that person, only that you're linked via a common soul.

What's the point of all this? Well, each soul matures and grows to certain degree each life cycle. The real world provides a testing and learning arena in which lessons are learnt. But not all souls learn at the same rate, and the lessons change depending upon what you have or haven't learnt yet.

So what's my lesson? To hazard a guess, I'd say that I needed to learn patience and compassion. But I also need to share these with other people. We'll see, I think I've got a lot of life left in me....

Destiny

If we accept that one's soul is independent of any one lifetime or personality, and that it picks which life it wants to re-enter as, then what is a person's destiny? It follows that one's destiny is the reason the soul picked this lifetime to work in -- the way in which it learns it's lesson this time around. As such, it's not a fixed thing that is guaranteed to happen, but a deep set goal in life.

It works this way. Life is essentially a random and arbitrary process, but overlaid on that process are one or more guiding forces. The chaotic nature of life is its very essence -- take that away and there could be no growth, no change, and no hope.

At various points in life, each individual either makes decisions and takes actions, or reacts to those happening around them. This is where choice comes in. These can be called "nodes", and each node can be reached and exited in several ways, by decision and circumstance.

Each life then, is the summation of all the circumstances, decisions, and paths taken during that lifetime.

One's destiny is not a destination as such, but one or more of the routes (or paths) along the way. Destinations are nodes, and only really function as signposts to where one is going, or indicators of where one has been. They can be major turning points in your life, or merely re-affirmations of where you're going. The last node in life is when you die. No more decisions get taken after that, and in general no one is in a hurry to be first to reach it.

There is likely to be more than one path of destiny each lifetime, because generally, there is always more than one way of learning or gaining something. And one's destiny might not be at the end of your life. It might be short and to the point. This doesn't mean the rest of the life is wasted, simply that one main goal is accomplished -- there may be others as well. Nor does it mean that someone who doesn't reach their destiny is going to be miserable, merely that they have not reached the point of maximum effect and result.

The problem is though, that left to one's own devices, there's no guarantee of reaching (or even recognizing) one's destiny. This is where the Guardian Angels and the Hand of Fate come in...

Guiding Advisors

For the sake of discussion I will refer to them as Guiding Advisors or Guides. I also like the terms Spirit Guides, Guardian Angels, or just plain Guardians. The result is the same, regardless of the name. [Laura and the Guardian Angel] So what is a Guide? I can think of several explanations. The most obvious is that it's your own soul attempting to talk to you, and running through the interference pattern of your own ego. Alternatively they could be other souls as well, who might be part of your spiritual group or "soul tribe", and want to help you find your way.

Not all of your soul tribe is going to be in the world of spirit however, Some of them are going to be in the world of existance at the same time you are. When you meet some of your soul tribe, you can become good friends, lovers, and soul mates. And you don't just have one soul mate, you can have several...

Anyway, each person has one or more Guides, and it's their job to give you internal guidance along the path to your destiny. They do this in a manner similar to the film Wings of Desire -- they whisper loving advice to you. But this is a quiet, and patient voice. as such, it often gets overwhelmed or overshadowed by other internal voices such as self-hate, fear, and other distractions in life. This is a person's intuition at work.

How do you recognise such an internal voice? It will never say things based on self-hate or fear, but always out of love for the self. But to make it work, you have to listen. Keep ignoring your intuition and it gets softer and softer, until you can barely hear it at all. If you don't listen to your intuition, you might never find your way. that's where the Hand of Fate comes in...

The Hand of Fate

Whereas the Guides work internally, the Hand of Fate works externally. I envision a symbol for it being a huge great withered hand, coming out of a cloud -- kind of like some of the Aces in a Waite Tarot deck. When you get too far off track, when you start to miss the point regardless of what the Guides tell you, the Hand of Fate comes down and knocks you back on course.

This might only be a small thing, but the net effect in the long term might be great. Or, it might be so drastic as to wrench you from your current path to a completely new one. This can be stressful to say the least! In this way the person is shaken up and forced to reconsider their actions and decisions.

So what is the Hand of Fate? I believe that we are all part of the divine, and that the God and the Goddess reside in each of us, and together they form the Greatest Of Divinities. Part of that is our soul, and each soul connects to another and to the via the world of spirit. This is why magic worlds, because it forms a direct connection to these realms, which also exist within us.

Now the Hand of Fate is more likely to resemble a cooperative union than anything else. When your guides realise that you're not listening to them, they call in reinforcements, by communicating both with other guides and with the world of spirit. The world of spirit doesn't intervene directly into the world of existance, because it did, we would probably become lazy and not rely on ourselves to do things -- we'd rely on that intervention instead! So "accidents" and coincidences are arranged to happen, and the result is that we get pushed in the right direction.

Once again, does it matter? The net result is that the Hand of Fate represents those forces which we perceive as being external to ourselves, whether they are or not. The Hand of Fate doesn't always work either. We might arrive at a situation where we can learn something, and still not get the point! When this happens, we get sent a bigger version of the same lesson to learn.

Conclusion

It all sounds a bit hokey, right? Maybe, but it does explain a lot that's happened in my own and other lives. It explains the quest for meaning, and amazing coincidences that change lives. The key point of this scheme is free will and self-responsibility. It doesn't work without either, since the basis of things is a goal, which your higher part (your soul) has already chosen.

And individuality still pays a part in this, since each goal is individually chosen. Chasing after someone else's life purpose won't make you happy, only your own will. The problem comes when you confuse individuality with ego. Individuality is the characteristics of your personality, what you like, dislike, and how you react emotionally. Ego is a function of of attention and concentration, the ability to realise or assume that you are a seperate entity, and it's an illusion. Ego can get in the way, blocking contact with your soul by being so noisy and hyperactive.

Religion for me then, is finding and communicating with my soul; and life is following my path in order to meet my destiny(s). One of those destinies was my gender transition. I become more "me" and more in contact with my soul by becoming Laura. When I keep to my convictions, have the courage to follow my path, and am centred enough to hear my own soul, life works like nothing else for me!

So, life is what you make it, but only because you (your soul) want it that way!

Sources

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