Queer Collaborations 1997

[The following was originally written in late 1997.]

I've just got back from the Queer Collaborations conference that took place in Brisbane, Queensland, Australia. Overall, it was a success for me. Queer Collaborations is a conference for Queer uni students from around Australia. As a bisexual transsexual woman, I was well qualified to go.

All in all about 200-300 attended. I went up with a contingent from Newcastle. There were about 7 of us, and another 30 from Sydney and elsewhere on the train up -- we sort of took over the carriage. It was a hard trip up, taking 12 hours and at night, but it was difficult to sleep for any length of time.

I'd been triple booked for billeting and didn't know which to contact at the Roma station. A QC rep turned up as did Wayne Roberts and I more or less picked one at random. I was out in Norman Hill for the first three days, but later swapped to staying with folks at Kangaroo Point. This was much more convenient for access to the conference, which was at the Queensland University of Technology (QUT). Every morning I'd take a ferry across the Brisbane river into town or QUT.

Later on the Saturday I went with my hosts to the the Pride march and fair day. In the march I got to hold a banner with an appropriate slogan on it (see below).

Now I'd been in the Mardi Gra parade twice so far, but this was the first time I'd ever been in a Pride march, where the objective is not glamour, but exposure and recognition. It felt good. The Australian Bisexual Network (ABN) had an entry too.

I enjoyed myself. I bought a rainbow flag (made in Taiwan), some "witchy socks" (they have a picture of a witch on a broomstick), had a playing card reading (I deliberately avoided the tarot cards because I read them myself) and ended up doing readings myself!

The last was odd. After my playing card reading the lady reading said she needed to take a break. I had my deck on me, so I offered to take her place, and did two readings while she was away. I really enjoyed myself. It rained a bit and there was a double rainbow, which I took as a very good sign for myself. My magical name is Pollychrome, but the full version is "Pollychrome, daughter of two rainbows" and guess what, there they were!

On the first day I gave a talk about being Pagan and Queer, two main streams in my life at the moment. I had a set of notes but when I threw them away and started speaking from the heart I think it worked. It was well received and I had applause (and a few "So Mote it"s to my closing "Blessed Be") and a few questions afterwards. There were other talks that day and later I went to a workshop on transgendered issues, where I met Gina who runs ATSAQ, and Aeshya, only the 2nd interesexed person that I've met. It was a good workshop.

I won't go into a complete list of talks and workshops done at the conference. I attended only about half of them (see below) and it was more fun and important for me to chat with people individually. I met a lot of queer pagans and trekkers after my talk. It's nice to know I'm not alone. Tuesday I went to a Homeopathic workshop and this was really interesting.

The homeopath was spot on in what he was saying, and very accurate (or so it seemed) with his diagnosis. I learnt how to open up my left hand (my energy receiver) and to question certain assumptions from my youth. I also met Llan there, who's a natural healer and energy worker.

Wednesday was an odd day. In the afternoon the conference had a trip planned to a place called Pine Rivers. It was a protest over the actions of the mayor, who'd had the doors removed from the male toilets to prevent them from being used as a "beat". It wasn't at all clear to me what was going to be done, so I didn't go. I was going to meet someone from the ABN later to go window shopping, but this fell through. I decided to see a film but had to wait an hour.

I thought I saw someone from the conference sitting at a cafe table and started talking to them. Ten minutes into the conversation I realized I'd made a mistake, but he'd been bored too and we sat and chatted for an hour. He was travelling with a performance group called ICARUS, and later that night when I walked back to Kangaroo point, what group should I come across, but the same! Icarus are fire eaters and dancers, and they had a long one act play that was highly amusing.

Thursday was an odd day. I'd sat through the first set of talks which was all about parenting issues for queer folk and this had raised some major issues in me (I'll never have children, and sometimes that hurts). I got halfway through the second round of talks (youth and coming out issues) and found that I just broke down. It was strange, I felt a wave of isolation, of being upset, and resentment come over me.

I left the lecture theatre feeling very disturbed, and got taken to a campus counsellor who was assigned to the conference. After an hour session I felt a lot better, though awfully silly. Apart from the stresses the topics discussed had caused (especially when, for the umpteenth time, someone said "Gay, Lesbian, or whatever" -- I am not a "whatever"!) there'd also been the stresses of the trip and being in a strange city. I wasn't the only one stressed out.

I rejoined people at lunch, and found that there had been a mood all morning at the conference, partly in reaction to what had happened at Pine Rivers. But there was no way I was going to sit in on the Youth Coming Out Stories that afternoon. Instead I went to a net cafe called THE HUB with a workshop and thoroughly enjoyed myself. Telnetting to my email account proved to be too slow, but I had fun surfing with the other women in the group (are there that many Tori Amos sites?).

I also met Llan again, when he came to check the place out. It was so reassuring to be around him. We later went for a walk and he did a quick tarot reading for himself. Then I caught the ferry back to Kangaroo Point and was just in time to join my hosts in going to "Bi-Bar". This was more or less just a pub, set up for a bisexual gathering on Thursday night. I was bored after 10 minutes, pubs and bars just aren't my scene because I'm not a drinker -- I prefer dancing. I was all dressed up and nowhere to dance!

Instead I went down the road and watched a film called LONE STAR for two hours. It was a great film, with heaps of subplots and characterization. When I got back things were still going strong but a number of goths had turned up as well. I'm a bit of a "gothophile" and a bit of closet goth myself, and had a good time talking with them. One of them asked me "Are you a witch?" and I ended up doing "flower readings" for them. I knew that I was heading in this direction but didn't expect to start doing it so soon.

I had a good time, but not for the reasons I went!

Friday I wasn't keen to attend any of the talks and sat in the lecture theatre for a grand total of 5 minutes. Instead I went with Mark (another student from Newcastle) to the art gallery to check out the exhibitions there. There were three, one from Australian artists, prints from the Weimar Republic, and japanese prints from a 400 year span. The last two were impressive and, and my only regret was that the Gainsborough exhibition had not been ready either.

We got back for lunch and I spent the rest of the afternoon with Llan in the botanic gardens next to the QUT. When I met him earlier, I'd started feeling a strong attraction to him, and this continued all afternoon. I finally did a tarot reading for him, and it confirmed things that we both suspected -- we're both in each other's futures (though in what context is yet to be seen).

I know this might sound a bit weird if you're a non pagan but, um, er, Llan was one of the reasons I'd gone to the conference. I knew from my own and other readings (including the one at the Pride fair) that I'd meet someone important at a "university based event".

Unfortunately in the middle of it all I missed an appointment. I was supposed to see a lecturer from Religious Studies who wanted to interview me about being both pagan and transgendered (the first she'd heard of). I phoned earlier and arranged things with her, but it wasn't until I went looking for the rendevoous point that I discovered she was on a different campus! She's assumed that I was at the University of Queensland at St Lucia, and of course, I was at the Gardens campus. Argh -- how annoying!

That night Llan & I walked to a party at a Restaurant in Fortitude valley. We sat there at a table with two other people and just gazed into each other's eyes. I felt so safe and appreciated around him. Saturday I went on a trip to Stradbroke Island North. The original idea was to "queerify" the island. About sixty people had signed up and a couple of buses were hired. On the day, only twenty people showed and the organizer (with the money) didn't. But this didn't matter, and it was a better trip for it.

Stradbroke Island North lies on the coastline South East from Brisbane. It's about 10km long and 5km wide. To get there the bus went by barge, a 50 minute trip in itself. But the trip was good fun. Unlike the conference, where it was easy to get lost, it was so easy to talk to each other on the bus. Someone broke out a guitar and we sang out-of-key songs. It was good fun.

We arrived at the island and stopped for some food, but no one liked what was being offered, so we moved on to Lookout Point. The food here was better and I scoffed a "lentil burger" with Astro and Amber. We also sat in front of a toilet block watching Dolphins and Whales out to sea, and then went for a walk on a nature trail. The island is full of birds and wildlife, and I found this really invigorating.

Later we went to brown Lake. Leela, another witch I'd met at the conference, wanted to do a healing ceremony there. The island is being stripped mined for mineral sands on one beach, and the intention was to add a bit of our energy to some healing. As a result, all at the ceremony got healed as well.

It was nothing elaborate -- we just found a place and sat in a circle for half an hour, meditating and chanting. It was at a grove/bbq area that just seemed right and at which the trees were happy to have us (yes, I talk to trees too). It was good, because here I was, connecting with both Queer and Magic rainbows at the same time. Not everyone participated, but all felt the magic quality of the space.

After the ceremony I felt relieved and at peace. My anxiety about future lovers left me and I was centred again. We drove back to the barge and then on into town. I was dropped at Kangaroo Point and decided not to go to the QC dance party that night. I had two reasons: the first was leaving on a 7am train the following morning; and that Llan would be there. I was happy to leave him for the future. I needed my rest for a long trip.

The following day the trip back was a lot quieter but more enjoyable. All but one of my party caught the train (the one missing out being our organizer!) and it was during daytime. I read a book, looked out the window, and chatted with people for most of the trip. I met a homeopath student and was photographed wearing my rainbow scarf for a student newspaper.

But finally we got to Newcastle. I caught a taxi home, settled in and slept in my own bed. There's nothing like that felling, even after an enjoyable trip.

I look forward to going to QC next year. It's in Hobart in Tasmania. Like Brisbane and Queensland, I've never been to that state before, and look forward to more than just scenery and talks.

Postscript:
Sigh -- Llan was so nice to be around, and I was definitely attracted to him in several ways. And yet, we've had no contact since. Llan is an itinerant and it's easier for him to contact me than vice versa. And yet I know that I will meet him again in the future.